Ever since the near completion of the witch manuscript, I've been searching for a project. I have not been writing, I've said. I've been stuck. This was both true and not. It was true because I have not been writing poetry. Not really. Maybe a few pieces here and there. (All of which are spectacularly good, because we all know I'm not going to waste the 20 minutes it takes to write a poem on something bad, right? I mean, come on.) I haven't been talking about the writing that I have been doing because the writing I've been doing is not actually the kind of writing that I do, so it's not really writing is it when you wake up one day and discover that what you're writing is fiction? Hence, identity crisis. Now, I am a poet, and actually quite a good poet, and by this I don't just mean that I write good poetry (but I totally do), but that I know how to be a poet. I understand the rhythms of writing and revising poetry. I can break it into steps: 1) be contemplative (this step never involves the actual making of words and may go on for months and months and months) 2) think of an amazing line 3) write it down 4) follow it with more amazing lines 5) read over and over, preferably aloud 6) change 3 words and 2 line breaks 7) repeat with more poems for as long as this stage lasts 8) return to step 1.
More importantly, I know what to do with a poem once I've written it, how to send it out, what to expect. I know the business of poetry. I know how to move in the world and live with myself and make sense of my identity and present myself to other people as a poet. I kind of rock it. And I love being a poet. I want to stay a poet. I really really do.
And yet...oh my god, fiction. How ridiculously fun are you? I mean, we all know I'm obsessive, but to have something that literally wakes you up at five in the morning because you just can't be away from it any longer? I don't know guys. I might be in love here.
More importantly though, I don't know how to be a fiction writer. I don't know anything about it. I don't even know how to format this shit. Is it double-spaced? Single-spaced? Is there a preferred font? Title page? Seriously, people. I have no goddamn clue. I am the fiction equivalent of those jackasses who send me poems with all the lines centered, a little copyright symbol at the bottom next to the year they wrote the poem. (I'm sorry if it was you who sent me something that looked like that, but you know I didn't actually read that shit, right?)
I feel like I need some help here people. And not just formatting help, but I mean if there's a program for people who find themselves transitioning between forms, that would be awesome. I feel like I need to talk to them.